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Living with 290

Living with 290: Don’t give up

I have been really touched by all the Story’s and family tragedy’s I have read here! I think you are all brave for sharing your stories. I can relate to all of you and I can relate to the negatives! I was always on the other side looking in, until it happened to me!

I am from San Francisco, and 25 years ago, I was a San Francisco Police officer. And one night changed my life forever and in one hour of stupidity!

I am now a RSO! I have only myself to blame for being naive and stupid and now I pay the price.

Everybody is human and don’t ever forget that! I have a wife and five adult children, 4 being girls. Even though my case had to do with corruption, murder, gangs and extortion, the fact remains I am here now speaking to you. I use to be Pro law, until this happened to me.

A lot of the stories I have heard on this site are very similar. I know a lot of you were forced to take a deal or you were convicted of a crime from the Penal code that is not even close to what happened to you! The State Laws need to me modified or changed.

There are pedophiles and then there are Sex offenders! EG: A John is arrested for soliciting a prostitute or was caught in sexual activity and had to take a deal and have to register for life! A Pedophile is ? You know where I am going with that and I am sorry I do not condone Pedophiles what so ever! But, I do not believe a pedophile should be a target.

And those of you who were convicted of being with a 14 year old going on 25 and didn’t know better is just that! I won’t judge you! I see this every day going on. My own 16 year old daughter had a boyfriend 25! Of course I put a stop to it, I was protective but not mean! I wouldn’t wish this insanity on anybody!

There are People who believe in you! former district attorneys and retired judges.

All this being said, Keep your head up! you are not scum of the earth! I have a great support group and this is what gets me by!

If you need advice or want to talk, I am here to listen to you without judging and I will help you out as much as possible! Cheers!

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  1. JJ

    Since you were once the law, know hard corrupted and twisted the laws are, with all you see and know and also experienced, why would’t you use your knowledge in your past law field and experience and also your influence with police and goverment officials to look and try to change registration based on case by case instaed of all for one, of course people see you as the bad guy now but in many views of the people, there is a great shortage of heros now (badge or no badge)

  2. kelnothiding

    thanks for telling your story , I learn new things every day I come to this site , the boogy man really is out there but its not likely that you will find him on some witch hunting site, but monsters do use these 290 sites to harm people that are RSO , good luck you and yours

  3. TiredOfHiding

    There should be no lifetime registration. There should always be a way to be removed simply due to the variables of different circumstances.

    Just as with ALL crimes they are committed by individuals and should be treated as such.

    One size fits all is fine for bathrobes but not when playing GOD with people’s lives!

    That is simply lazy, stupid, cruel, and evil. PERIOD

    • Timmr

      Agree 100%.

      • kelnothiding

        when people get there time is when the court should have what ever op to handle it then , know damd REG , is everyone for getting the LAW of the land? lev3’s have to were everyones crap , over and over again , we are eather going to stand together or we will all lose , all anyone seems to be thinking is that no one wants to be looked at as lev3 , I can understand that , but as a lev 3 I don’t want to were child porn lev 1 crap eather , but it is what it is , you cant just blow of the us lev3’s because your just going to play that old game ,AT least I did not do what he or she did” , if this is the way the wind is going to blow then maybe lev 3’s should pull there money and place it where it can better be used for lev 290 all to hell and back , , THE REG in its self is a danger to everyone , even if your not on it YET , not a lev 3 yet”

    • Malcolm

      Amen to that! And that is why we are a constitutional republic and NOT a democracy. Democracy means that the majority rules and the founders of this nation saw that as unjust. Kind of like two wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for dinner.

      A constitutional republic is one in which the minority are protected from the majority. I’m sure that as adults you can all think of at least 20 examples of how “majority rules” would affect your life adversely, not just in the realm of being a registered citizen bit in your everyday lives.

      I’m tired of hearing the phrase “the people voted for it” as an excuse for bad laws. And of course it is the job of the Supreme Court to uphold the tenets of the constitution so that knee jerk reactions and emotions are kept from passing bad laws that directly contradict the Constitution. Unfortunately the way things are going it won’t be long before the majority votes for slavery again and I guess that would be just fine by our current system because they don’t seem to recognize that what they are doing to registered citizens is just as binding and demoralizing.

  4. someone who cares

    Thanks for posting this. It is refreshing to see someone who has been on the other side of the law realize how corrupt the system is. It would be nice to put that first hand knowledge to use somehow. Let those who need to know know what is really going on behind the scenes. Even if it just changes a few people’s perspective, it would be a good start to bringing sanity back to this country.

  5. LJ

    Thank you for this post. I have been dealing with a lot in my life lately. Seems that things are turning around finally. It appears I got into after care at CPC just in time. Here the office has been targeted by the public. It started one day as a group of us “clients” were walking into the building, a man walking down the street threatened one of us yelling profanitiesvand SO slurs saying he would kill us all. Of course CPC did nothing. Then a few weeks later another man was sitting in the courtyard by the bathrooms and asking everyone which suite they were there for. Said he was going to catch every weirdo from CPC and gestured a gun sign with his hand and pointed to his waist where there was a bulge. We were told to answer anyone asking about why we were there with a lie to protect ourselves and told to get down on the floor if we ever hear gunshots. Over the next couple of months there were vandalusms of the building like spray painting die cho mo’s and a broken window. Was there ever any idea that maybe they were putting us in danger? If so, we weren’t told, and groups went on as usual. Two weeks ago I was placed in after care and since the building has been shot. Guess what? Yep, they are still having groups. I expect to getba call anytime to be assigned to my after care group where I will only have to be ib danger once a month. Sure speaks to the motives of CPC (money) and CDCR (wish we were all dead). Gotta love the system. I am told when ever I want to do something that it would be best if I just accept it and it will be a lit easier. That is of course easy for those who don’t actually live this nightmare, even if they are empathetic. Truth is they hear our complaints, while they may help us in some regards, maybe even fight battles with us, they get to go back to their normal lives. We have no escape, no reprieve. We must endure day in and day oyt 24/7 365. So my point is, with all that is thrown at us, it was nice to hear something positive. Of course sounds likevI rained on the parade. Sorry

    • James

      Dear LJ:

      I don’t know what CPC is, but what you are describing seems to me to be terrorist threats and a police report with a picture and name of the person doing this should be filed every day, on every occurrence,

      I would be at the police department every day…I don’t think they can refuse to take the report and, after a couple of weeks give you a copy.

      I would request criminal prosecution based on this evidence…and if this is denied, get a fee wavier, and file for a Civil Protective Order against these individuals committing this harassment.

      Let me put it this way…Society has no qualms using the system against you…but the system is there to protect you also…turn this on its head, be in Court every week…and if there is 20 of you in your group, file 20 Petitions.

      Eventually, the Courts and the Police will get the idea that they must protect you also.

      (I note this is not Legal advice, but simply a personal opinion of what I would consider doing)

      Good Luck,

      Best Wishes, James

      PS God, crap like what you are describing makes me crazy!

      • Lj

        James, CPC is Counseling Psychotherapy Center. They are contracted in many states to administer “treatment” for sex offenders. These acts are carried out by many different individuals. The reality is that contact with law enforcement is a parole violation. Even if I am the victim. Now, if my parole officer was to allow me to make a report, the harsh truth is the sheriff’s department nor the city police want to help a sex offender. As far as they are concerned if one or two get picked off, it’s one less they have in tgeir city. There is no recourse for me. I don’t have money for an attorney. Oh yes I have dialed every lawyer in the state. Until someone with money files a lawsuit, not a writ, against the state and federal government for each and every unconstitutional and oppressive law they impose on us, a class action suit on behalf of us all, we will continue to endure unjustice. Until one day we are rounded up for a concentration camp. “They came for the Jews, but I wasn’t concerned, I am not a Jew. They came next for the Polish, again I wasn’t worried, I am not Polish. Then they came for me.” (Clergyman in Nazi Germany). All the court battles fughting each new law and overturning existing ones only results in more legislation designed to circumvent the latest ruling. Round and round we go, getting nowhere.

        • James

          I kind of assumed CPC was something like that. Do you mind me asking what state?

          I also find it a bit astounding, though I am not saying untrue, that it would be a parole violation for you or a parolee to contact the police…on a legitimate matter.

          If someone pistol whipped you on the street you could not, immediately go to the local police to report the crime?

          I am not an expert in this and in no instance should this be taken as advice to do anything at all against the advice of your parole agent.

          Still, this startles me….though I completely understand that while on parole you must roll over and play dead in all things.

          Afterwards….not so much. (though local police can always make your life miserable…seat belt violations, etc, etc….and yet, your story makes me, as an outsider to your system, very unhappy).

          Good Luck (but again, what state? I am still pissed off at your story)

          (let me put a finer point on this…I think Dr. Jack Kevorkian was correct in his position on assisted suicide…he was a sick old man when they put him on trial and sentenced him to 10~25 years…he served seven and had to retract his beliefs…in effect. There is a lesson here…let us push hard, but not do damage to our own lives. I guess that is what I am saying)

          Best Wishes, James

          • Lj

            The state is California. A lot of outsiders who learn the reality of our nightmare understand our plight. Unfortunately the general public has limited knowledge and therefore allow arbitrary laws to be passed on the guise of protecting their children. Even though every study shows their effirts make no difference and that the recidivism rate is not 68% for a new sex crime, but only 1.8%. Of that 68% recidivism they quote, nearly 80% of those rearrested are for parole violations. Why? Because we can’t see our family members who have children, or our own children. We can’t go to any place where children may regularly gather so no libraries or parks while on parole. If a fast food restaurant has a playland it’s a violation to even go through the drive through. You have to get relationships approved, which includes your parole officer speaking to whomever painting a picture of the evil monster you are. You can’t work anywhere a parole officer doesn’t approve. Of course you also have to attend classes and meet with your officer, and the crime in itself make it very difficult to find work anyways. It goes on and on and they just pass more and more laws making it harder and harder. But it is when we struggle that our true character is revealed. I choose to trudge on despite the hurdles put before me. Un the end, I have to remind myself that it is I who put myself here.

            • James

              Be a little Easier on yourself Lj…life happens. I never had to do parole, thank God, I really don’t know how all you people survive the stresses this society puts upon you, (us).

              With all these new laws, new traps and snares…I was pretty depressed…but I’m managing…as shall you.

              It’s not like we are in this boat alone.

              Good Luck, James

    • Erwin

      I don’t mean to be picky but some people on this forum don’t know what you’re talking about when you use too many acronyms like CPC and CDCR.
      Don’t be afraid to spell things out

  6. anonymously

    LJ said ” Un the end, I have to remind myself that it is I who put myself here. ”

    You put yourself in the original position. But you didn’t void yourself and your family from the protections of the US Constitution. Your actions did not void the Constitution for everyone, as the anti-registrant law proponents at FaceBook would like to have eventually happen or at least void the Constitution for other groups which surely will happen and is already happening. Sexual Deviants in Nazi Germany sexually deviated but did not put themselves to death. The Nazi’s did that. It is a very dangerous precedent for Americans to accept these breachs on the US Constitution involving cruel and unusual punishment. According to Rasbbi Shmuel Boteach, it is wrongheaded for Jews to accept the Nazi-like precedent in the US of banning classes of people, in this case in this current proposal , muslims, from our country. In my opinion, it’s also deplorable to accept special markings on passports, denying the right to escape persecution. For any Jew to advocate for this is an insult to the memory of those who died and says a lot about the person and their agenda. To put a successful company by your name that you work for, even if you’re in the janitorial or H/R department, makes that company look evil for the Hitleresque content expressed, but also makes that company look ridiculous by riddling your comment with typo’s and misinformation.

  7. mk

    CDCR is California dept of corrections and rehabilitation.
    CPC was described in a later post

    Also my hub is on parole in CA. As was stated, contact with LE that isnt reported within (I think its 24 hrs) could be considered a parole violation. If you are being victimized it should be reported. Regardless.

    I also used to be pro law. Not so much now. I’d have a hard time calling LE unless it was absolutely necessary. In the old days, you would see a cop and think. Oh, good. Im safe. Now I see one and get nervous.
    It is sort of sad.

    As is all of this.

  8. Michael A. Lewis Sr.

    Welcome

    It makes my heart sing when a official that helped create or enforce Sex Offender Laws gets put on the list, and then cry foul when they realize just how unfair and cruel their laws are.
    I welcome them to my nightmare with open arms.

    Michael A. Lewis Sr.
    06/26/2016

    Just in case anyone wonders why I would welcome them, here is why;
    They are the crafters and defenders of these laws and so they have the knowledge and ability to destroy what they themselves created.
    But in the meantime they have to live in a nightmare they created.

  9. Dan

    Thank you for your message, it encourages me. I have felt alone for the past six years dealing with life as a rso. I’m really happy to have found a place like this to get support and to become a part of a group willing to work toward helping our circumstance.

    Location : SoCal

  10. Christy

    I’m hoping someone might have some advice for me. I am looking for information on parole requirements in California for sex offenders. Also, after care providers in Orange County. My son will be released soon from New Hampshire DOC and I am overwhelmed. I have found it very difficult to find info on what to do and what his requirements will be when he comes home. I want to try to provide the smoothest transition possibly but it seems that there are so many obstacles. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

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