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ACSOL’s Online EPIC Conference: Empowered People Inspiring Change Sept 17-18, 2021

Commentary

Understanding Child Sexual Abusers

[themamabeareffect.org – 4/26/21]

Addressing the misconception that all child sexual offenders are pedophiles and the reasons why people commit abuse against children. Introducing the typologies of abusers to help protective adults understand that there is no set stereotype for offenders and why we need to involve all the adults and adolescents we know and trust around our children, to be educated on the issues of child sexual abuse and actively working together to empower children and reduce risk of abuse.

Watch the YouTube video “Understanding Child Sexual Abusers”

The Mama Bear Effect YouTube channel

 

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My mother abused me. It took a very long time and a conviction for CP for me to come to grips with that. She was by no means a pedophile. What she was involved control. Her abuse was what is called covert sexual abuse. She did it with my older 1/2 brother until he moved out and then I filled the void. It involved a lot of mind games and mental conditioning. There was some physical contact, but not of the recognized overt nature. She was not an evil person as people speak about when describing the abuse. I think… Read more »

Eric,

I’m sorry what happened to you, both with your mom and the viewing of CP. And yes, there is likely a connection–to avoid repeating the behavior you learned from your mom, you used CP instead of hurting someone. I’m guessing but you probably didn’t really like watching the CP, or you felt guilty and ashamed afterwards.

Right on some observations. But I didn’t use it as a diversion, but as a means of trying to connect with others that had experienced what I had. I actually reported sights to a Federal watchdog sight. They had documented reports from me. I sent messages to the original posters that I was reporting them. My entire viewing experience lasted less than a year. I spent my entire adult life helping others, both in the military and in my healthcare profession. I never want this to happen to another child. My life is over, but it doesn’t mean I don’t… Read more »

Fascinating video that suggests some insight into online stings. Perhaps the stings like EDP445’s incite the incident by

1. Giving access in the form of a decoy.

2. Giving the “catch” a situational opening made enticing by the decoy.

Maybe EDP445 would fall into the inadequate typology, but who knows. Not a pedophile though according to the video.

The normally law-abiding person could be entrapped this way when at any other time the trap would not work. In this light, the pedophile and predator labels are most often false when it comes to stings.

Last edited 15 days ago by Ditto

Ditto, The term pedophile has a different psychological meaning from the common one, right? Scientifically, a pedophile is attracted to children. But commonly, people think a pedo is someone who seeks out to abuse and molest kids. The reality is that most people who are attracted to kids do not abuse them. If someone is disgusted that an adult is attracted to a child, that’s their right to be disgusted. But is also the right of the adult to be attracted to a child. But they don’t have the right to hurt a child. Using psychological tricks could help entrap… Read more »

You make some good points. I was trying to limit my thoughts strictly to the video definitions. My point was trying to argue that the definitions could be used by a lawyer as part of an entrapment defense. It could also explain why these stings are still so successful even after all the warnings, which could also reveal why stings could never accomplish the goal of eliminating the threat, because there will always be those in a difficult crisis and stings will find them; but preventative counseling might help far more with far less damage.

It makes me SICK the lengths cops will go to to arrest as many guys as possible doing nothing more than just looking for love online. I personally have never been arrested in my life, and I used to meet quite a few ladies from online personals back in my single days. But now that I know the dirty tricks cops will play, I would be very hesitant to use them anymore should something happen to my wife. It scares me to think that I could have been catfished by an undercover cop, never mind me having honest intentions. Thus,… Read more »

Re: “Scientifically, a pedophile is attracted to children.” That’s not quite correct. A pedophile is attracted to PREPUBESCENT children. An adult that has sex with, say, a 15-year-old is a criminal (depending on the state) to be sure. But he/she is NOT a pedophile. Pedophilia is a product of nature, not something that came about because a bunch of people got together to decide what was the acceptable age to have sex. Nature had already set that mark – puberty. True enough, a pedophile cannot be “cured” any more than one can be cured of a love of chocolate. People… Read more »

The term Pedo as used by society in its bastard form is nothing more than society projecting. Name another species that doesn’t allow females of reproductive age to engage in sex.
the violence associated with pornagraphy is not right, nor is the exploitation of any person. But to label someone in this way is only hurting society. Of course U.S. society will never have to worry about being labeled
‘Enlightened’.

Dustin,
Technically you are right about the scientific definition of pedophilia. Trying to explain to people who will label anyone who has an attraction to an underage person a “pedo” using the term pedophilia isn’t going to change their mind. Nor will trying to explain the difference between 10 and 16.
Only through changing the vocabulary to something more neutral can anyone have a conversation with people. Any ideas?

I didn’t have my 1st sexual experience until 20yrs old. I have never had sex with a woman younger than 19yrs. Yet by having a few pics in my possession of a female younger than 16, I am now a Pedo? What does that make every man that has had sex with a woman under 18 yrs……
I don’t even listen to those idiots.

Eric

I can relate to the picture issue–same thing. I don’t consider myself a pedo, just a person attracted to minors, or a minor attracted person. Sounds a lot better and I can be okay with being a minor attracted person (as I define minor) as long as I don’t act on it or do something illegal.

That’s how I came to accept myself.

Steve

Being attracted to a 16-20 year old female is normal; however it isn’t socially accepted by society. Just because you find someone younger attractive doesn’t mean you want to be intimate with her.

Dustin; “ a pedophile cannot be “cured” any more than one can be cured of a love of chocolate.” My thoughts are basic traits we have can change and modify over time. Being attracted to men, teens, women, chocolate, children, whatever, can change or at least modify with time and new experiences and possibly therapy. Who someone is at age 16, 25, 39, 67 or 79 : and what they feel and are attracted to must modify over time. In my experience in numerous settings… therapy, groups, 12 step etc. I have met hundreds of people with sexual oriented issues. Only… Read more »

I will go much further Dustin and say that “pedophilia” is not, in fact, a scientific term. It was devised by a German sex theorist more than a century ago but, nonetheless, speaks only to an attraction to pre-pubescent children. It’s a bullshit term that carries with it a “science-y” feel in the [successful] attempt to provide a veneer of scientific respectability to a poisonous project.

I wouldn’t say it’s a bullshit term. It’s just that most people throw it around so loosely without knowing what it actually is – perverting it, in a sense.

There’s know way of knowing how many actual pedophiles are around. As someone else pointed out, most don’t act on it or talk to anyone about it for fear of being reported. A lot of states won’t recognize doctor/patient privilege where children are involved, so that’s another hurdle.

Lock them up !! Lock them up !!

Minors develop at different rates and some are more mature than others. It’s all biological and if one can’t be honest, look in the mirror because you are part of the problem.

That river flows both directions. There are ‘adults’ that never mature. Biology dictates that at time of a woman’s 1st minstrel cycle, nature is giving its approval for procreation. Same with men and their sex drive. No, the rate of development isn’t biological I feel. It has to do more with environment. A child on the street learns quickly how to fend for themselves, while a child in an overprotective home learns nothing more than how to go running to mommy if they encounter a problem they can’t overcome. Society has tried to put a harness on Biology with morality… Read more »

Eric,

Actually, some girls have started menstruation earlier, and there are several theories behind that, with better diet being one of them. I knew of a girl in 5th grade who started her period (the other girls were whispering about it and I accidentally overheard). An 11 year old girl is not ready to have kids, biology or not.

Diapers might be a new thing 😉

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