Recently I read some comments on another advocacy website pertaining to TN’s new law effective July 1, 2019, in which adult registrants may not reside overnight in a home with a minor in it.
The comments that caught my attention weren’t the “we’ve got to fight and do something about this” comments, but instead, the number of defeatist comments, “nothing is changing, we’re only fooling ourselves, we’re not winning, little wins mean nothing”.
One person even went so far as to say something to the effect that they felt like slapping the next person who said “we are making progress and winning”.
While I’ve written advocacy blogs for a while now, about the ups and downs of the registry battle, the unfair rules registrants have to deal with, the plight of registrants children, the homeless, jobless and suicidal, I don’t think I’ve even begun to scratch the surface of these issues. There’s so much involved because the topic is so broad and encompasses so many unique factors.
Do I want to slap those with a defeatist attitude, shake them and admonish them for being ”Debbie Downer’s” for not “doing their part” in joining the battle like the rest of us?
No, I don’t. (Ok, I’ll be honest, maybe a little bit.)
But haven’t we all had days and sometimes weeks or months when no matter how active and engaged you are in fighting to tear down the registry, no matter how hard you are working for this cause that you believe in, there are days when you just want to say “the hell with it, I’ve had enough” and lay down your sword? This fight is tiring and mentally fatiguing. It has the ability to sap your emotional and physical strength, it can consume you, interfere with your job, your family, your home life.
And in the end will it all be worth it, will our efforts make any difference?
I’m not about to preach to anyone. I tell myself that if I do nothing, nothing will change. Of course there’s no guarantee that anything I do, writing and phoning politicians, blogging or sending countless emails, will change anything. But I’ll take that chance. Who knows how long this fight will continue. We’re making progress, it’s slower than we want or need it to be, but it’s something. Speaking only for myself, I’m better off doing something than doing nothing. For me, the effort is worth it.
I’ll bet most lawmakers don’t personally know any registrants, their ill-preconceived notions about registrants are notions gained through who the media tells them “sex offenders” are. So, they continue to pass more and more restrictive laws based on these ill-preconceived ideas about registrants.
We fight because we need to change those preconceived ideas. We fight because we need to set the news media straight. We fight because registrants and their families are worth fighting for.
For those penning defeatist comments, I’m hoping that like the rest of us, maybe you were just going through some difficult times. We’ve all been there, we’ve all felt that way, thought those same thoughts.
Maybe someday you’ll feel like joining the fight, until then, the rest of us will continue the battle.
I really admire the registrants who are able to file suits and go to court. I don’t know how they find the guidance and resources to do it. I know that here in San Diego a group of homeless registrants took the city to court over the 2000 ft. residency restriction. They won and helped defeat that restriction which forced so many into homelessness. Because of their courage many of us can find stable housing. But I think more of us would fight if we had the resources. I wish we had a group like the NAACP or ACLU for registrants. That is how so many minorities have won cases and made big strides because these organizations fund their cases and give guidance and direction. Without those resources it seems so hopeless to fight. We do have ACSOL and it is our biggest advocate and support. They have spearheaded many of the victories we have had, but it would be great if individuals had the means to fight, or if we were better organized and could get direction on how to proceed. I do think part of the purpose of the registry is to keep us from uniting into a political force. That is why many of us can’t have contact and it is difficult to travel. Thank you for your blogs.
I am not a defeatist, however, l am worn and tired. I have a wife in the Philippines begs daily to come there to help her to fix a house, which, l have the skills to help, however, I can not go there. I have a daughter there l can not attend her graduation from Doctor of medicine. It seems everyday, l hear of some new restrictions on us. At this point l do not trust the light at the end of tunnel.
Kat,
I hear you! Too many registrants just hide. Really we’ve yet to see a DC protest. There are more than a million ” interested parties” yet NOPE NO PROTESTS! You are a mom and defend your son and I respect that to the utmost. I appreciate you ” pulling some covers” here.
I’ve posted a removal petition concerning the Chief JUSTICE on another advocate site, asked for input, got mostly excuses: ” It won’t work, can’t be done” blah blah. Though I sincerely suspect they may be correct about getting the Chief to resign, it would absolutely send a message to the ‘Harvaad’ Elites. Even 300,000 signatures on such a document would get some serious attention. I’d be called a crackpot for starting it. As sure as John Hancock I’D SIGN!
I’m underway in my latest attempt at FTR TRIAL. There’s lots of advantages I’ve got on my side including a notice of judgment in 92 trial by jury on a single count of 1st ° aggravated child sex assault. I plead not guilty and that paper tells that. Along with other pertaining info that defies states claim of life term.
There are serious concerns for the morale of this nation. That concern applies to every American as does the national debt. Crushing indeed to the spirit of free men. To begin the indenture \ enslavement of human to machine database was the death nail human liberty and thereto any potential human republic.
Thank you for the post, Kat.
Amen.
I decided over two decades ago that I was at war and the people against me were going to pay. And they have. People can do exactly what I’ve done. These criminal regimes could murder me today and they will still have lost the war. The harm that I have caused them is greater than any harm they could cause me, including death. But they are too stupid to know it and too arrogant to care.
As long as I am alive and listed on a Registry, the people who support it will keep paying. All they are doing is adding to their casualties. No one thinks Registry Supporters are smart.
IF i had money i would fight. I’m on SSDI (yeah the fact that older folks have issues getting into old folks homes scares the shit out of me.) and can’t afford it.
otherwise i wold fight since the burden is mainly on my kids and not being able to find a good place. or that people look down on them.
Defeatest attitudes come from the top. All this cheerleading talk is fine and all but many of the major groups, including this group, have sold people on the idea (whether intentional or not) that lawsuits alone will bring us to the promised land. I disagree. The courts are just as influenced by the court of public opinion as the rest of us. The Civil Rights Movement didn’t sit and wait on lawsuits, they attacked on all fronts–media, legislation,public opinion, AND the Courts. Not every victory occurred in a courtroom. Hell, even when they won in court, they still had to fight to get those rights enforced.
Back in 2015, I put together the first rally in years, but the other groups, including this one, first offered their support but then chickened out. Tat roundtable meeting to form a league of these bigwig groups fell flat because a certain other group (not this one) broke rank. We can’t agree on a team color. We an’t agree on a team logo. Hell, we can’t even agree on our ultimate goal. Do we want to win a Superbowl or are we content with being the Cleveland Browns?
The defeatist attitude isn’t going to dissipate until our movement actually tries to work complimentary to each other instead of competitively. I thought competition was going to be good because normally competition makes businesses work harder, but I’m not seeing that in this movement. But the leaders have the responsibility to still work up their groups to do more. That means the leaders must know true bravery and set the example.
It’s hard to remain positive, optimistic and glass “half-full” when the registry is exceedingly divisive, dysfunctional, oppressive and negative.
Most of us have become very complacent with this type of intrusion, so it no longer seems offensive to us.
IT SHOULD, but we’ve become completely numb to the drudgery of it all.
We reserve the right to be offended at the fake puritanical outrage wielded against us!