After being arrested for possession of child pornography, a man committed suicide yesterday. We can only speculate why he would commit such a desperate act. Was it because he was also charged with “exchanging sexually explicit messages with a teen in California”? Was it because he was a member of law enforcement, a deputy sheriff in Florida?
It is likely that we will never know his reason why.
What we do know, however, is that many others have chosen the same path. That is, many men have committed suicide because they could not or would not live their lives burdened by the label “sex offender”.
These extreme acts are to be viewed with compassion and understanding. For the people who committed them – our brothers, sons, nephews and husbands — did so because of the extreme duress borne by each and every person whose name, photo and home address are posted on a sex offender registry.
Their duress comes in many forms – underemployment or unemployment, homelessness, isolation from family, social stigma and/or vigilante violence.
Suicide under these circumstances is understandable. However, we cannot and should not sit idly by. Instead, it’s up to us to change these circumstances, to give men who have already paid their debt to society what they deserve — an opportunity to live in peace, to enjoy their families and to contribute their talents to society.
It’s up to us to Show Up – Stand Up – Speak Up. There are many opportunities to do so during the next month as we oppose legislation in Sacramento on June 21 and June 28, educate ourselves in Los Angeles on July 16 and protest the International Megan’s Law in Oakland on July 27. Please join us by honoring those who have fallen as well as providing a better life for those who remain.
hell yes lets push back ! sick of this sitting idle ,
I commit to come to Sacramento to fight both bills. And I commit to come to Oakland.
Maybe YOU are an RC like me, and maybe–like me–you are not directly affected by either of these bills, and don’t plan on traveling internationally.
You and I could say “Let others waste time writing letters and making calls for bills that don’t affect me.” But the reality is that we are all in this together. If we only fight bills that affect each of us personally, our response will be weak and make little difference in the outcome. But if all of us fight all the bills that Janice tells us to fight (get on our email list!), our united front will eventually help all of us.
You and I could say “I’m afraid and overwhelmed by all these bills and laws. I just want to ignore them and hope they will go away.” But they won’t go away. In fact, the politicians would go back to thinking “Yes! We can beat up on those monster sex offenders and they won’t do anything! Free votes!”
You and I could say “I don’t care that only a few of the 135,000 people on the registry are willing to I drive to Sacramento and Oakland. I really don’t want to lose a paycheck for a couple of days and pay for gas. Let others do it.” But if none of us were willing, the legislators would think as before that there is no one opposed and they can pass all the bills they want, and those laws would reach out where we are hiding, grab us by the neck, and make our lives a living hell.
I know there are thousands of RCs who are absolutely unable to travel for health or other reasons.
But many could go, yet are afraid or don’t want to be inconvenienced.
Try asking yourself this question: if you KNEW a bill was going to be passed that would make your life hell (leg bracelet, can’t live within city limits, must post a “Sex Offender Lives Here” sign in your yard, etc.) would you be willing to take the time to come to Sacramento and Oakland to stop it? I think you would.
So treat these other bills just as seriously! If they pass, they may not affect you today, but you know that politicians love to make them affect more and more sex offenders. So that law you were sure wouldn’t touch you today may make your life unbearable next year!
Don’t take our wins for granted. New bills are always waiting to sneak into our lives.
I CHALLENGE ALL MY FELLOW RCS TO JOIN ME IN TAKING A DAY OR TWO FROM WORK TO FIGHT THESE BILLS IN SACRAMENTO AND TO COME TO OAKLAND.
If you absolutely cannot come, then I challenge you to join me in getting friends and family to write letters and make calls. Join me on our email list (click on Get Involved). Join me in making regular donations.
With Janice’s guidance we have made a HUGE difference in stopping bad bills!
We need you!
Thanks Janice, I know deep in my heart lives come and go, but I cannot count the many RC’s or unregistered that have taken their own and just cannot stand it anymore. Now, those of you, ask yourselves, you are now survivors, but how we have thought the same when on the Inside (prison walls, for those that were incarcerated longer than over a year), have thought or came close to carrying it out, to leave this world not seeing any light or any future beyond those walls.
Many.
I am thankful for those that have endured their incarceration and still surviving out here, sometimes for some it is tougher than inside those walls (of protection)?
We have to carry on and move forward to fight with all of you to win with Janice and her team including the Professor to gaining our Freedom outside our walls that the U.S. Constitution guarantees us as individuals and as RC’s.
Who will fight with us to educate the Congress, Senate, The SCOTUS, THE SAFETY COMMITTEE members, and most of all the ignorant and scared and some scarred PUBLIC.
I lament that this officer lost his Courage in the sight of Perpetual Punishment & a Unforgetting Unforgiving road that he would be forced to travel on, no matter what actions he could take for paying the debt he owed he’s fellow countrymen.
As a Peace Officer he surely was a first hand eyewitness to the uncompassionate treatment for those who have been marked Unredeemable. How futile their efforts at making a willing and sincere recompense in order to merit a position of a example to others of which dark paths to avoid in life. In order to revive righteousness and the fulfilling power in the act of forgiveness that from evil good could triumph.
I lament for our Nation has lost a opportunity to forgive one of our own. For it is a reality that wings have fallen & even the Angeles, sons of the Creator can fall short, so how can we as Children of Dust hope to be forgive by our Creator for our debts owed to Him if we are unwilling to forgive each with Hearts of Stone clothed by Dark Spirits.
So as a Mortal Nation we will not forgive, where is the glory in that?
Heaven & Earth will be witness when our accounts come due.
I speak Truth
As Yehovah lives, so should we
I think he made the right choice in killing himself. The right choice for himself, his family, friends and his employer.
A choice I have tried to have the courage to make, yet I cannot.
A police officer who kills himself when charged with a sex crime only helps the rest of us by focusing on just how devastating living life as a sex offender can be.
Instead of being forced to choose to support him and remain in his life as a sex offender in Florida, his family only now needs to bury him and mourn him, then move on, without fear of the filthy and corrupt politicians of Florida trying to out maneuver each other with more laws that “close loopholes” or whatever other catch phrase those scum think up.
It is actually a win win no matter how you look at it. There is a dead cop in Florida, who was probably a dirty cop – Win for America anytime someone from Florida dies.
Someone considered a “hero” right up until his charge killed himself rather than live life as a sex offender – Win for those of us without the nerve to do the same.
While it is counter to everything our therapists and other people have told us, I think we know full well that empathy will never help us. If we do not go on the offensive, legally, we fail.
After all, are we not labeled “offenders?” Then maybe it’s time we offend. We can use insinuations and targeted attacks on politicians. Forcing them to refuse a sex offender polygraph, getting our photos taken with them then releasing it so the attack press can embarrass them. And of course, continuing to fight legislatively.
I challenge all of us to find out when our local jurisdictions hold their annual registrations and go in there and pass out a business card with the CARSOL website address on one side and the list of their victories on the other.
There is no lower point in her life than when a sex offender is sitting in the waiting area about to be photographed, fingerprinted and looked at with repulsion. That is the time to strike, when she is low and vulnerable and get her motivated to participate and donate.
We must shed empathy for the Americans that fight to make our live more miserable than they would be with the laws at the time of our crimes. Ex-post facto non-punitive punishments are far worse than prison. Prison was easy, easier than the military by far. Living among Americans is not easy.
Renny, I concur fully with you following statement.
I challenge all of us to find out when our local jurisdictions hold their annual registrations and go in there and pass out a business card with the CARSOL website address on one side and the list of their victories on the other.
It is a simple & effective step to build on. Informing & educating those being directly persecuted.
Suicide is a viable and dignified alternative to the public pillory provided in the U.S. even for minimal infractions considered sexual in nature.
No doubt it will become a federal offense to commit suicide for citizens accused of a sexual offense, in order to make sure that they cannot circumvent the humiliation the government has in store fore them.
And, in the customary manner, it will not be considered a punitive provision, but rather a regulation that furthers an important government objective.
The one thing that I have learned after becoming an RSO is having empathy and compassion for others. Hearing anyone take their lives over being convicted of an SO is sad, even if he was a police officer. I can only assume that he had a family, friends, and loved ones who cared for him. There is always an impact upon others and not just about the one who took their own life.
There have been many times where I thought I was coming close to taking my own life over being convicted of a SO; yet, I have an opportunity to be part of the change for so many others who have suffered and have also wanted to take their own lives.
Maybe his death brought about attention to the travesty of what being labeled does, but there has to be other ways of bringing about change without resorting to suicide.
You know, trust me, it crosses my mind often. I see a reason to live that trumps the thought. I cannot fathom my son not being without me. Period. I cannot fathom having the love from my “wife”. There are more important reasons to live. He was narcissistic.
“Maybe his death brought about attention to the travesty of what being labeled does…” I it doubt John, the way the public reaction to RC, they would like to see more.