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Living with 290

Living with 290: Afraid to fight for his rights…Does he have them?

Greetings, I am a family member and supporter of my sibling who is a 290 registrant.  He has completed his 1 year anniversary this past January 2015 with flying colors.  He has been attending web community college to attain his AA degree and has been working several steady but manageable jobs.

Recently, this past Sunday (March 15, 2015) while working at a ‘Park and Ride’ near the airport in San Diego, an employee from a competitive company who was apparently having a bad day began bad-mouthing my brother.  My brother bad-mouthed back and that was the end of it, so he thought.  Later that afternoon, the employee returned to continue the bad-mouthing and got very close to my brother.  My brother fearing a physical altercation continued to defend himself verbally and was looking around which made him seem nervous.  The employee from the other company assaulted my brother by putting his hands on him with a forceful push and in reaction, my brother threw a punch.  All this was caught on video and what I explained is clearly visible.  My brother did not report this to his P.O. immediately because nothing came of this, but recently the owner of the competing company came to speak with the owner of the company my brother works in and it seems that he wants my brother fired.  My brother was advised by his employer to contact his P.O. to explain the situation.  My brother called the P.O. and he was reprimanded for not calling right after the incident and requested that there be an investigation by the local police to sort out who is at fault.  I suggested to my brother to contact his P.O. again to notify her that he will be filing a police report and possibly put assault charges on the other employee just to cover himself, but to notify his P.O. of his intentions for guidance.

My brother is really nervous and depressed that he has to feel this way because of his situation and being on parole.  He feels that no matter what he will lose in this situation and fears being sent back to Jail for this incident in which he clearly was not at fault.  He lives in constant fear of being harassed and/or assaulted and believes he does not have any rights to defend himself physically or legally.  Can anyone provide some guidance I can forward to him on what to do next or what to wait for?  Is there something he can do to stand up for himself without any consequences?  Please help if you can.


~ The brother of a Man who deserves a second chance at living without fear or shame.

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Parole is like having one foot in the grave. They are just looking for excuses to put people back in. The minute he opened his mouth he screwed up. Sorry to say it but he needs to remember he is one slip up away from incarceration

Agreed, when you are on parole, you already know that any little incident could land you back in jail, so it is wise to just walk away from any altercation. Hopefully the investigation will show that he was shoved first, but even then, he may not be able to avoid a parole violation.

A lot depends on your brother’s Parole Officer – some truly make an effort to assist, others not so much.
Unfortunately, while on parole, your brother needs to ignore provocation and walk away from potential altercations. Your brother is the one at greatest risk, not the other guy. The other guy won’t get the blame, your brother will. It’s not fair, but that’s the reality.
Please help your brother to always keep in mind his #1 goal: stay cool, get through parole, be free again.
Believe me – I know how hard it can be to “Stand down, soldier! Do not engage!”
In tough situations, that is the mantra I repeat to myself:
“Stand down! Do not engage!”

Your brother need to be THINKING AHEAD, at ALL times. It is very important for him to be the FIRST to report ALL adverse situations to his PO, the less surprises that his PO gets about him, the better. He needs to walk away from all fights, including the verbal ones. He needs to be his own “devil’s advocate” at all times. He should try to find some good mentors to help him, re church, co-worker, family or etc.

Thank you all for your feedback. I have read all the comments to my brother and he agrees with all comments. He will from this point on make better choices regardless of the situation. Unless he can identify a situation where he knows he will be in harms way, he will be more focused on walking away and saying a prayer. We’ll see what the outcome will be tomorrow (Monday) as the investigation will commence. One good thing is that the video surveillance does show that the other person was the one to start the altercation and shows he returns to my brother’s place of work in which he did shove my brother first. My brother’r supervisor has also requested to speak with his P.O. to justify my brother’s actions. The odd side of this whole thing is that my brother’s P.O. went on vacation last friday for 2 weeks and did order an investigation and I believe since my brother is labeled high risk he might be cuffed and held in a cell until the investigation is complete. Not looking forward to Monday. Thank you all for your support. Stay safe.

Mr. G.

The best way to get through probation/parole is to get a shrink to give your brother a script for Xanax under the diagnosis of PTSD. It will help your brother to deal with the stress of the situation and at the same time put the probation officer/department on notice that you are documenting the situation.

Be a good brother and pay for the doctor.

Trust me on this. DO IT!

How ’bout getting the doctors to prescribe Xanax for the parole officers, well, and the policing community in general. They seem to be a little quick on the trigger lately and seem to take it hard when people criticize them, turning their backs and such. How about a year’s gift certificate to the local medical pot shop. Peace.

a script for Xanax under the diagnosis of PTSD what about them running drug test wont that be a problem?
what do you do with a PO that just belittles you all the the time does not care how well he’s doing but put fear into him saying if doesn’t do what she said she’ll violate him. He cant take a dump without permission she tells him not to do things that’s not even in his conditions even the other PO’s fill sorry for him. But we will do anything for him within our power, we will support always.

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x