I decided to write this because I just graduated college. I have been fighting and fighting and fighting some more with this nonsense hanging over my head. I have been denied jobs because of my sex offender status, I have felt like killing myself, and I sometimes just feel hopeless.
I was convicted of a 289a1 or Penetration of a foreign object through force or fear. I was 20 at the time and I was at a party. I hooked up with this girl and the lines got blurred between what was consensual and not. Long story short, the cops called me in and the next day, like an idiot, I went in. When they told me what I was charged for, my mind went blank. I didn’t know what to see, so I blindly went with whatever they said. They used the testimony over the next couple of months.
I did 6 months in country and 3 years formal probation after that. And I registered as a 290 for the rest of my life. I have spent 2 whole years of my adult life not on this list and the rest has been under this umbrella. This was 2010.
After I got out, I was denied living back in my parent’s house for a few months, so I lived with my uncle for a few months. I tried going back to school, but it never felt the same. I took a few years off just to work and try to figure out what I wanted to do.
Three years went by. I completed probation without a hitch. I transferred to a 4-year university in the Bay Area and completed my degree in Geology. I swore to myself that even if I did nothing with my degree, I would still be proud of that slip of paper.
It has truly become my one fear that people will discover what I am. Immediately after getting out of probation, I wanted to commit suicide. Since then, I’ve flirted with just not waking up one morning or if I got hit by a bus, I wouldn’t care. I’ve got told off by Pastors, Managers, and Family Friends. And with this new law, I’m grateful for all the people who will be getting off the list, but I’m always saddened that I won’t be there.
I just graduated. I erroneously thought that 7 years had past and stated to apply in earnest for work. And it seems that damn near every recruiter used the registry as the easiest way to deny me. I was denied from a programming position, a lab technician position, even a part-time position. I am going to have to move back home to LA and leave my girlfriend, friends, and life that I tried to start up in the Bay Area.
I wish this had never happened to me. I know everyone here on this site feels this way, but I wish this would just stop. I am trying to work on expungement, which I feel is a long shot, but I have to take it. I want to leave this country so badly. It’s to the point where I just want to pack my bags and disappear in Europe past the 90 days.
I know what I did was wrong and there is not a day that goes by that I wish that I could take that back. I wish I could just move on with my life, but that doesn’t seem to be the case yet.
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