This morning my loved one went to see his probation officer. He actually had some good news for him. After taking two polygraph tests and being evaluated by his sex offense counselor, the probation officer has decided to reinstate his computer and cell phone privileges. So he comes home, and fires them up after not using them for two years. I immediately go into a mass panic and ask him if he got the approved changes to his probation in writing. He said when he asked for written confirmation, the probation officer said “Have them contact me if there are any issues.” I immediately told him to pack both the phone and computer up and don’t use them. As cynical as I am, all I could think of was the possibility of another sting.
I tried to contact the probation officer by both phone and e-mail. I explained, as nicely and respectfully as I could, all the challenges both of us have faced in the last two years. I also asked what guarantee did my husband have that he would not be violated by some over zealous law enforcement personnel on their next visit? I got an e-mail back saying he couldn’t discuss his case with me without my loved one’s permission. Okay – He said he would contact the probation officer in the morning and consent to allowing me to speak with him.
My question is: Why does he have to have permission to talk to me when the probation officers that visit us have had no qualms about questioning me and searching my things? I’m not on probation. Again, all we are asking for is written confirmation to use both the computer and cell phone. It’s going to be a long night as I now expect a “visit” after dark.
Am I wrong to be so paranoid and mistrusting of those who say they are here to help our loved ones rehabilitate? And people wonder why the spouses leave. It’s not because they no longer love and believe in their spouse. It’s because they are treated as if they are registered sex offenders just because they didn’t leave. I’ll keep you posted . . .
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